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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742532">To The Things We Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaWho5/pseuds/LissaWho5'>LissaWho5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Time To Say Goodbye [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Welcome to Night Vale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst little comfort, Bitter ending, Carlos is a great dad, Cecil’s Secret, Episode 166 spoilers, Esteban needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, M/M, Multi, Spy In The Desert Spoilers, as a treat, carlos needs a hug, cecils secret is in this, i give no comfort until episode 167 comes out, okay fans can have a little comfort, so like that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:56:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaWho5/pseuds/LissaWho5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>-Contains Spoilers For Cecil’s Secret-</p><p>When The Pilot takes over, Carlos has to make a hard decision in order to keep his family safe. </p><p>That doesn’t make it hurt less.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos/Cecil Palmer, Steve Carlsberg/Abby Palmer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Time To Say Goodbye [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723744</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To The Things We Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“The end is close. Whether this is good or bad is unknown. Welcome To The Hidden Night Vale Radio Broadcast.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good evening Night Vale. Carlos is here speaking to you all on the radio transmitter I’ve given a bunch of you. My sister in law passed then out to you all. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am currently stationed in my secret laboratory with my niece Janice, as it is currently dangerous to be anywhere near any of my other labs.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“As we all know, a few days ago, many of our citizens were taken over by the invading pilot and his army of passengers. Among those include my good friend Earl Harland, my fellow scientists Mark, Lusia, and Dave, and my brother-in-law Steve Carlsberg, and Cecil Palmer...my husband.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Janice and I have been working tirelessly trying to create a way to defeat the army or to figure out a way to reach our loved ones. But all attempts at the moment have been disastrous. However, we will not rest until this is all over.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is your update for now Night Vale. Continue hiding and do your best to avoid the army. And if your loved one is taken over, do not try to save them...as much as it pains you to do so.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos ended the transmission, and put his hands in his hair, letting out a groan. He heard Janice tinkering with something in the other room. She made the occasional grunt as she tried to figure out how to build something, anything that could help the townsfolk. A few of his scientists were also working with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been about a week (Or at least he thinks its been a week, your concept of time gets muddled when you barely leave a place) since The Pilot came and took control of anyone who could hear the voices of him and his followers in their heads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cecil was among them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Cecil.</span>
  </em>
  <span> His husband had been suffering for what felt like so long. The voices constantly speaking to him, being unable to think because his head was filled with thoughts and actions of others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cecil’s only solace in those days was spending time with Carlos. Especially if they were spending time with their son Esteban during this.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Esteban.</span>
  </em>
  <span> When Cecil first called him into the station, Carlos knew this could go horribly wrong. He contacted Abby, who had sent Steve away upon Cecil and Carlos’s advice, and gave Esteban to her. Carlos told her that if something bad happens, try to run from the army and go into his underground lab. He would meet them there. He kissed his little boy and told him that Papa would see him soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was true after he… left Cecil, he found Abby holding his son, as well as Janice sitting beside her mom. Her face pale. Carlos couldn’t blame her. He probably looked like he saw a ghost himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as he saw his son, he held him, kissing his forehead. Esteban seemed upset and confused. There were tears running down his face. But his son was oddly quiet. He was most likely picking up on the fear and sadness everyone was going through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa?” Said Esteban, his voice trembling and scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Carlos felt a pain in his chest, Esteban wasn’t even three yet and the world was a big and scary place, especially in times like this. He’d be upset himself. Hell he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Ban Ban. Papa is here. Papa has you. It’s okay sweetie. My baby boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban curled into Carlos’s chest. He brought his stuffed animal in the shape of a giraffe with him. His favorite toy in the world. It was now curled up in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa, where is Daddy? He sounded scared before Aunt Abby turned off the radio.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh how to answer that question. He looked up at Abby and Janice, who both gave him a sympathetic look, but also didn’t know how to answer this question. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Daddy is currently being mind-controlled by an evil airline pilot and if he sees either of us, he will try to murder us on-site without realizing that he’s hurting his family. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t say that. So he instead opted to say, “Daddy has to go away for a little bit. He’ll be back as soon as he can.” He pauses, “He loves you so much Banny. So so much.” Damn it, his voice cracked on the second so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much as space right?” That’s what Cecil always says to him when he tucks him into bed. Tells him that his love for him is bigger than space itself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, as much as space, the stars, and every galaxy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban seemed comforted by this. Cecil had been at his wit’s end for the last few days sleep deprivation having its effects, even if talking to his son and husband stopped the voices. Though he would never take his frustration out on Esteban, he had been off at home, his energy level was much lower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Esteban would notice the difference. Their son was very smart and intuitive and curious and so much like him and Cecil in many ways (But God he hopes, but realizes is scientifically unlikely, that his son won’t have to go through half of what he and Cecil do.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos held his son for what felt like for hours but more likely was about 15 minutes. His son had fallen asleep in his chest, hopefully having peaceful dreams. He looked at Abby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abby, will you watch over him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abby gave him a confused look.  “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos gritted his teeth. He was never great with emotions or words but god he hoped his desperation was conveyed in this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to start finding a way to fight this pilot. Esteban can’t be around for that. He could get seriously hurt, a lab is no place for a kid this young, not when I can’t give him my full attention.” He paused, “There’s another secret lab, it’s abandoned but it’s safe. It’s also at the very edge of town. You can stay there while we figure this out. Unless there’s somewhere else you can go? Then you can take him with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abby nodded, “Of course I’ll watch him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, his face solemn. He then started again, “But Abby, if I can’t find a way or this doesn’t end-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will watch your son Carlos. No matter what.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos gave a small smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janice then spoke up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Carlos?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked towards her, “Yes Janice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to help you solve this. I want to save people. These shi-monsters!” She quickly looked to her mom who gave her a slight glare but decided to let it slide. “Took my dad, they took my uncle, and they’re destroying my town.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, he didn’t bother telling her no. Part exhaustion, Part knowing that Janice wouldn’t take no for an answer in this case. All he said was, “Ask your mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abby nodded at her, telling her yes, though it seemed hesitant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos looked down at Esteban who was sleeping in his arms. His son looked comfortable, unbothered by the issues of the adult world in his sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gently woke him up. “Mi amorcito. Wake up, Papa has to talk to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban slowly opened his eyes. Big and brown. Eyes Cecil often said reminded him so much of Carlos’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban shifted in his arms. He looked up at his dad. “Papa, why are you crying. Are you hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos hadn’t realized he was crying. He gave his son a sad smile. “No baby, I’m not hurt.” Oh how he hated lying to his son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Esteban, you’re going to have to go with Aunt Abby for a little while.” He had to keep it together. He would do anything for his son and that meant leaving him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban began to whine. “Why do you have to? Will Daddy be there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shook his head, “No baby, it will be you and Abby. And it’s so I can help Daddy out. You know how he’s felt sick? I can help him feel better but in order to do that you have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban nodded but tears ran down his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos didn’t know what to do. He knew the composition of tears, he knew approximately how much salt was in his son’s tears, how much water. But he couldn’t begin to tell you how to comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Corazoncito, I want you to have this.” Carlos took off his lab coat, it was one of his favorites. “When you see me again you can give it back okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Esteban’s eyes went wide. “Thank you Papa, I’ll take good care of it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What Carlos thought in the back of his head was, </span>
  <em>
    <span>If I or Cecil don’t make it out of this one, I want you to have something to remember at least one of us by. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>What he didn’t tell Esteban was that inside one of the pockets was a pocket watch that was long broken before he came to Night Vale. No matter how much he deconstructed it or put it back together, it never was quite right. Inside the watch was a small copy of a photo of their family. Cecil, Carlos, and Esteban, when Esteban was not more than a year old. (Previously the photo was of Carlos’s favorite Erlenmeyer Flask, but he changed it shortly after Esteban was born)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he did say was, </span>
  <span>“Esteban, Papa loves you so much. I’ll see you as soon as I can. I love you with my entire being.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I love you with mine!” Esteban’s face was still wet, but he hugged the lab coat with his giraffe with pride. Carlos gave him a smile before giving Abby directions to the other lab and giving her a bunch of radio transmitters/receivers (which he kept in his lab as all scientists do). He told her to give them to anyone who wasn’t part of the army who she came across. He then handed Esteban to her. He hesitated for only a second ashe handed his star to Abby.. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos relived this moment. When he was not putting his full focus in stopping the pilot, his mind would either drift to his husband or his son and he’d feel pain well up in his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to say that it would be okay if previous disasters were any indication but he also knew that previous performance was not an indicator of future results. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just hoped that this time that it would be. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you like this angst I made because the new episode hurted.</p><p>I love this show and if you ever want to discuss it, or ask me questions, you can find me at shaniacnightvaleresident on Tumblr!</p><p>Shout out to my friend Maggie for beating. You can find them @nopenotjoshua on Tumblr! ^_^</p><p>Thanks for Reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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